How to Cope With Loneliness During the Holidays: 8 Ways to Feel Less Alone

The streets are lit with decorations. Every advert shows a table full of laughing people. Your phone fills with photos of other people’s families, and your own plans are quiet or non-existent. Maybe you live far from home. Maybe someone you used to share the season with is gone. Maybe you will be surrounded by people and still feel alone.

Holiday loneliness is real and widespread, and it is not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Why the holidays sharpen loneliness

The contrast

The season is built around togetherness, so being without it stands out. Social comparison with images of cheerful gatherings makes the gap feel bigger. See how to stop comparing yourself to others.

Absence and grief

Holidays are anchored in memory and ritual, so the absence of a loved one is felt more strongly. See how to cope with grief.

Distance and circumstances

Living far from family or friends, being newly single, having moved, being estranged or having small social circles all intensify the feeling.

Loneliness in company

You can be with people and still feel unseen or disconnected. See why do I feel lonely even when I’m with people.

Pressure and expectation

The idea that you “should” be joyful and connected adds shame to the feeling. See how to deal with holiday anxiety.

Loneliness is not the same as being alone

John Cacioppo and Louise Hawkley define loneliness as the distressing feeling that your social needs are not being met, which depends on perception and not simply on the number of people around. Some people are content alone; others feel lonely in a crowd. That is why the solution is not just “be around more people” but “feel more connected.”

Why it matters

Julianne Holt-Lunstad and colleagues’ meta-analysis found that loneliness and social isolation were associated with a higher risk of early death, comparable in size to other well-known risk factors. Loneliness is a real health concern, which is why looking after it, even at a festive time, matters.

What helps: a note from the research

Christopher Masi and colleagues’ meta-analysis of loneliness interventions found that approaches addressing maladaptive social cognition, the thoughts and expectations that make us withdraw or expect rejection, were the most effective, more so than interventions that only increased contact. That suggests both parts matter: more connection and changing thoughts like “no one wants me around” or “everyone else has a perfect time.”

8 ways to cope with holiday loneliness

1. Name it and allow it

Say: “I feel lonely, and that makes sense at this time of year.” Suppressing the feeling makes it heavier. Let it be there without self-criticism. See how to sit with uncomfortable emotions.

2. Plan ahead, don’t wait

Loneliness often peaks on the day itself, so plan early. Decide what you will do on the key days: a walk, a film, a meal you enjoy, a call. Having a plan reduces dread.

3. Reach out first

Message a friend, a neighbour, a colleague or a relative: “Would you like to have coffee on the 23rd?” Many people are also lonely and glad to be asked. Start small: one text, one invitation. Don’t wait to be invited. See how to make friends as an adult.

4. Connect in new ways

Join a community meal, a faith group, a class, a club or an online community with a shared interest. Look for “Friendsgiving” or open-table events in your area. Video calls with distant family count, too.

5. Give to others

Volunteer at a food bank, shelter or community meal, or help an elderly neighbour. Helping shifts attention outward and builds connection and purpose.

6. Create your own rituals

If traditional gatherings are not available, create new ones: cook a favourite meal, light candles, watch a favourite film, go for a sunrise walk, write letters or decorate a small corner. Treat yourself as someone worth celebrating. See how to enjoy your own company.

7. Limit comparison and doomscrolling

Social media shows highlight reels. Set time limits or mute accounts that make you feel worse. Use the time for something absorbing. See how to stop doomscrolling.

8. Look after your body and mind

Keep sleep, meals, movement and daylight steady. Limit alcohol, which can deepen low mood. Talk to a friend, counsellor or support line if the feelings are heavy. Challenge unhelpful thoughts: “Everyone else is having a perfect time” is rarely true.

If you are grieving

Make space for the person you miss: look at photos, cook their favourite dish, share a memory with someone, or set a place symbolically. It’s okay to change or skip traditions that hurt. Give yourself permission to feel both sadness and moments of comfort.

If you are surrounded by people but feel alone

Try to share something real with one person: “This time of year is hard for me.” Authentic conversation, even brief, can relieve the sense of invisibility. Step out for quiet when you need to.

A worked example

Alex moved to a new city and will be alone for the holidays.

1. Name it: “I’m lonely, and it’s understandable.”
2. Plan: a Christmas Eve walk, a film and a good dinner, and a video call with family.
3. Reach out: he invites two colleagues for coffee on the 22nd.
4. New connection: he signs up for a community lunch.
5. Give: he volunteers for the morning shift at a local shelter.
6. Ritual: he cooks his grandmother’s recipe.
7. Limit scrolling: he mutes social media on the day.
8. Look after himself: he keeps his walk and sleep routine and books a chat with a counsellor in January.

It wasn’t the holiday he imagined, but it was a good one.

Common mistakes

• Waiting for invitations. Reach out.
• Isolating completely. Even small contact helps.
• Drinking to cope. It deepens low mood.
• Comparing to others’ highlight reels.
• Judging yourself for feeling lonely. It is common.
• Hiding grief. Make room for it.

When to seek help

Reach out to a doctor, therapist or support line if:

• loneliness is persistent or overwhelming,
• you feel hopeless, worthless or numb,
• you withdraw from everyone,
• you rely on alcohol or other substances to cope,
• you have symptoms of depression, such as changes in sleep, appetite or energy,
• you have thoughts of harming yourself.

The National Institute of Mental Health has information on depression. If you are in crisis, contact your local emergency number or, in the United States, call or text 988, which is available over the holidays. See how to cope with the winter blues and our disclaimer.

Frequently asked questions

Why do I feel lonelier at the holidays?

Because the season emphasises togetherness, brings grief and absence into focus and invites comparison with idealised images.

Is holiday loneliness normal?

Yes. Many people feel lonely at this time of year for a variety of reasons.

How can I feel less lonely if I’m alone?

Plan the day, reach out, join a community event, volunteer, create your own rituals and limit social media.

What if I’m lonely even with family?

Share something real with one person and give yourself breaks. Loneliness is about connection, not company.

How do I cope with grief at the holidays?

Make space for the person you miss, adapt traditions and lean on support.

When should I get help?

When loneliness is persistent, you feel hopeless or you have thoughts of self-harm.

The bottom line

The holidays can make loneliness louder, but it is common, understandable and manageable. Name it, plan ahead, reach out first, find new connections, give to others, create your own rituals, limit comparison and care for your body and mind. And if it becomes heavy, ask for help.